“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems” ― Epictetus

So, this first week of Learning with Digital Stories is coming to a close.  I have set up numerous accounts, learned to use new tools, read interesting articles and websites, watched and listened to fascinating videos and podcasts, blogged and blogged and still have at least two assignments to complete today that I have started but not yet completed.

About Wednesday I started wondering what the hell I’d gotten myself into.   This seemed like a fun and exciting ride at first.  Now I’m not so sure.  As it occurred to me the amazing workload that was assigned for this first week, not apparent at first because there is so much to figure out just to understand how to do each assignment, I began to feel anxious every day, not sleeping at night, and like quite a failure as I quickly completed substandard work.  I felt a little like I was vomiting out words without being able to go back and edit and form decent thoughts on my blog plus tweeting this raw junk to the world every day just to get assignments done.  I guess in some ways I feel better just acknowledging that I probably will not be able to finish everything today if I plan to stay married and gainfully employed.  As bad as it makes me feel, it does put it into perspective.

I think the work I have managed to complete may not have met minimum course expectations, and is certainly below my own expectations.  I feel I need more time to think and edit.  Maybe this week will go more smoothly now that everything is set up and I won’t have to spend so much time just figuring out how to do things.   In addition, if I can make decisions more quickly about what to do for an assignment rather than wasting time trying to find just the right idea or the best story or second guessing myself about whether I am doing this or that correctly, I might survive better.

I chose confidence and building confidence as my focal theme, ironically enough, as I have certainly struggled with this area in my own life this week.  Although, the readings, the videos and the audio book I’m listening to have been good material just to help me cope.

This has been an insane week.  My manager put in her notice.  Our director came to talk with me and encouraged me to pursue her job.   I am thinking that I think I like to facilitate and build learning experiences and that I’m not sure I want to get bogged down with dealing with the politics and personalities of being a manager.  On the other hand, I might just be a chicken and questioning my abilities.

I would really like to stay in this class, but I am not sure it will be good for my life.  I looked on the summer calendar and saw that I have until Tuesday to decide to drop this course.  It will cost me $100 but it might be worth it for my sanity.   I’m eagerly awaiting the week 2 blog and assignments and interested to see how it goes. Now I need to try to clean my house a little and prepare for a work meeting tomorrow before I can get back to finishing those assignments!

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Published by

Darlesa

Merging a lifetime in the arts and over 15 years in marketing and communications with a passion for learning and helping others learn, I take pride in striving to design online and blended learning experiences which engage thoughtful reflection, improve performance and motivate and excite learners … or at least make compliance training a little less painful :)

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